Sometimes we may think that we have let God down and it’s hard for us to try and have a relationship with Him again. We have to remember that no matter what, He is a forgiving God and that He will always accept us for who we are. Prayer is a powerful thing. God will listen to every single word you say but it is also important for you to listen to his words as well. He is trying to prepare you for all that he has planned for you.
A few months ago, I was starting to think that God had left me. I was attending church, going to every service. Doing everything I thought I needed to do in order to be a “good Christian”. Little did I know that God doesn’t care only about appearances but He cares about what’s inside. I knew I wasn’t praying like I used to. I wasn’t feeling the same happiness when I would go to church. But yet, I still couldn’t figure out why I still felt as empty as I did.
I’m not one to hide my feelings or try and pretend that everything is okay. I tried leaving social media for a while because it seemed as if I was getting consumed by everyone else’s lives but my own. I came to a breaking point. I’d literally feel sad, mad, and tired all of the time. I didn’t understand why and I would just ask God why am I feeling this way, why are you no longer with me? It was the type of emptiness that only He could fill. I was happy with my life, happy with my relationships, happy with everything except one thing…myself. I wanted to be the old me again. The one that would go to God for advice, the one that would thank Him for every single thing throughout the day. I wanted to go back to having that close relationship with God.
I started praying more but this time not just to talk, but to listen. I’d ask God to give me a sign that He is still with me and I would burst out crying. I remember I could almost physically feel that emptiness becoming whole again. I can’t really explain to you how it is that God speaks to you. He just does, and when He does, you will know. He will always be with you and He will always accept you and forgive your sins. You just have to let Him know that you want Him there with you. God says in Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek with me with all your heart.” We all have that part of us that only He can fill and I hope that whoever is reading this has that hole filled with God’s love.